(6) What If We Lose the War?

   Lincoln met with Douglass for the second time in August, 1864.  Before he even walked into the room something about Douglass resonated with Lincoln and invoked the powerful memory of his childhood friend and confidante Mathew Gentry.  Lincoln was as usual working in his office, he felt more comfortable and able to focus at work.  There was a roomful of people softly talking in the next room waiting to see him when one voice rose above the others.  “My name is Frederick Douglass”.  Lincoln recognized the resignation in the tone immediately, the words had less meaning.  When you have to respond but know that anything you say or the way you say it will be misinterpreted badly, that the person to whom you are speaking has already made up his mind to light into you, you learn to use that even, straightforward, flat tone.  He knew that someone in the waiting room was giving Douglass a hard time but Douglass was experienced and kept himself in control.  If you refuse to react you can diffuse tension, the other guy will relax, your father will not turn away or make fun of you, and your wife will not make a bigger scene.

   Gentry used that tone when he would introduce himself, and he introduced himself frequently.  It was odd but whether someone asked for his name or where is father was or if he thought it was going to rain he would reply “I am Mathew Gentry” in that funny flat tone and then answer the question.  It was as though he thought the words had extra meaning.  Lincoln would laugh and eventually everyone became convinced that Gentry did it just to entertain him.  That was until Gentry, still a teenager, without provocation, became a raving lunatic.  He fought with his father and tried to hurt his mother and himself.  When that terrible day ended Lincoln saw his best friend screaming and uncomprehending, tormented, tied to a tree.  He did not recognize his people and from then on always used that flat voice.  Lincoln eventually lost track of him.  Certainly he never lived on his own, never loved and never had a family.  Lincoln was terrified by the memory, nothing made him feel more vulnerable. Gentry was a good friend, they were well matched when they discussed serious matters and on those rare occasions when they went to school.  Gentry’s fall was so complete and without obvious cause.  Are we all so fragile, is our hold on reality so tenuous?  How could he drink, how could he lose control and be like Mathew Gentry?

     The last twelve months of Lincoln’s presidency had been powerfully transforming.   Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, gave the Gettysburg Address and started to discuss Reconstruction. The Thirteenth Amendment which would abolish slavery was working its way through Congress. But he was sure to lose the upcoming election because the war was going very badly; the number of casualties unimaginable.  Lincoln was losing the country’s moral pulse for the war.  He finally relented to constant haranguing for peace negotiations which he believed were insincere.  He said that he was open to them only while it was understood that preserving the union and the end of slavery were non- negotiable starting points.  However, the country was not ready to articulate that this was a war to end slavery, far from it.  General McClellan, the likely Democratic candidate and victor in the upcoming election would not fight a war to end slavery.  If the Democrats won it was likely that the union would be dissolved and slavery placed on more firm ground than ever.  The loss of life would have been in vain, the nation’s moral progress erased.  There were crushing early morning moments when unable to sleep, he would lye in bed and feel overwhelmed by the nightmare that was the Civil War.   Waiting for the sun to rise, with no one to be brave for Lincoln felt that he was the one tied to a tree, raving, not understanding.   
   Lincoln was suffering greatly in public opinion and needed to reconnect with the people in order to lead them.  He would try to find a way to reach them, he just was not sure how. 

   Lincoln considered how his life would be after he lost the election.  He wondered if he would return to Springfield or take a trip to Europe and the Holy Land.  He was so curious to see those foreign places, talk to the people and study their ideas.  But his presidency would be forever known as a catastrophe, the vast shedding of blood for nothing.  To leave the country would be a greater humiliation than to stay.  All those slaves left in the South would remain so.  The weight of failure and depression was too much to bear.  Work helped him to persevere.  There was still much they could do.  Lincoln had Douglass invited in for their second meeting.